The Heart Goes Last ~ By Margaret Atwood – 2.5 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Conspiracies, Dystopian Fiction, Relationships, Science Fiction, Speculative Fiction, Utopian Societies

 I received this ebook from NetGalley and Doubleday Books in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis: Living in their car, surviving on tips, Charmaine and Stan are in a desperate state. So, when they see an advertisement for Consilience, a “social experiment” offering stable jobs and a home of their own, they sign up immediately. All they have to do in return for suburban paradise is give up their freedom every second month–swapping their home for a prison cell. At first, all is well. But then, unknown to each other, Stan and Charmaine develop passionate obsessions with their “Alternates” the couple that occupy their house when they are in prison. Soon the pressures of conformity, mistrust, guilt and sexual desire begin to take over.

“If you do bad things for reasons you’ve been told are good, does it make you a bad person?”

This is the question posed by Margaret Atwood’s heroine near the end of The Heart Goes Last. The events that lead Charmaine to this question are at times, funny and tragic which should have made for a thought-provoking read, but alas, did not.

Like in many of her previous books, the world-building is phenomenal in Atwood’s latest offering. Consilience (combines “cons” and “resilience”) is a bizarre community created by the mysterious Positron company. In many ways it harkens back to the 1950s with the residents only being allowed to listen to music by crooners like Doris Day and Bing Crosby. Their tv is equally sanitized. The whole thing reminded me of “Pleasantville” crossed with “The Stepford Wives” with a few elements of “Westworld”  and “Austin Powers” thrown in.

Contrasting with this supposedly idyllic setting are the residents who overall are obsessed with sex. It’s meant to be a black comedy but I have to admit I cringed at some of the scenes depicted, especially one which involved chickens which left me wishing I could scrub my brain. While I understood some of their preoccupation with this given their otherwise bland vanilla lives, at times it was over-the-top. Did I mention the chickens? Seriously, I think I may be scarred for life!

On the plus side there are some hysterical scenes involving Elvis impersonators which had me laughing out loud.

You’re probably wondering why anyone would chose this life, but you see, this is a dystopian story, and the outside world seems so much worse. The economy has tanked, leaving much of the population homeless, so to many, Consilience seems like paradise. So what if you have to give up a few personal freedoms. It’s better than living out of your car or on the streets, right? Well, it turns out that Positron has some sinister projects it’s working on secretly and they’ll do anything to protect them. Stan and Charmaine stumble upon the conspiracy and discover paradise may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

This leads me to the weakest part of the book. I truly couldn’t stand any of the characters. Not a single one. Charmaine is a fluffy blonde nitwit who whines, sighs and moans throughout the entire book. She’s also laughably naive to the point of ignorance and has absolutely no moral compass. Keeping in mind some of Atwood’s other books, I kept waiting for the big reveal that would show there was something substantive under the vapid shell, but was ultimately disappointed. Stan is a misogynist with a bad temper. That’s really all I can think of to say about him. He was completely one-dimensional and uninteresting. By the end of the story I couldn’t care less what happened to either of them. The secondary characters were equally boring and after putting my Kindle down to engage in other activities, I’d start reading again only to find I’d already forgotten most of the characters. It was extremely frustrating.

This is only the third book I’ve read by Atwood, (the other two being The Handmaid’s Tale and The Blind Assassin) and while I loved them, I feel I can’t really compare The Heart Goes Last to the full body of her other work. I do however know of her reputation as being a prolific author who excels at creating bleak, yet mesmerizing dystopian worlds with compelling characters. Unfortunately with this book she relies on raunchy humor to get cheap laughs. When you combine that with unappealing characters the end result is a tangled mess in which any underlying message is completely lost. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t by far the worst book I’ve ever read. I think the main reason I’m so disappointed is because Atwood is a writer with such a stellar reputation. I expected so much more than an uninspiring story weighed down by frankly juvenile humor. I think if you’re a new reader of hers The Heart Goes Last isn’t going to make you immediately reach for another of her books, and I think that’s a shame. 

 

Happy National Coffee Day!

Tags

Humor, National Coffee Day

Yep! You read correctly. Today, September 29th pays tribute to this bodacious beverage. Being the coffee fiend that I am I think this is my favorite “National” day, next to “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. If you’re like me and love coffee here’s a few places that you can visit and get freebies:

Dunkin’ Donuts: Free medium cup of dark roast coffee, hot or iced. Limit one per customer.

Peet’s Coffee & Tea: Free small cup of Peet’s Major Dickason Blend with the purchase of any food item.

Krispy Kreme: Free small coffee and original glazed donut.

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf: Any size of regular or flavored iced coffee, and iced Americanos are half off.

Sadly, Starbucks is not giving away free coffee, but today they’re kicking off their Starbucks One Tree for Every Bag Commitment. This will be a year-long campaign where every time a customer buys a bag of coffee, a tree will be planted in a community that needs one. Hmm. Will y’all think less of me if I confess I’d rather have free or discounted coffee from Starbucks? 

Did you know:

Coffee can help you live a long and healthy life. No, I’m not making that up just so I can indulge my coffee cravings free of guilt. Coffee contains antioxidants which help ward off disease. You’re also less likely to smoke, drink alcohol, and eat red meat.

 

Coffee contains important nutrients you need to survive. Seriously! A single cup of coffee has 11% of the daily recommended amount of Riboflavin (vitamin B2), 6% of Pantothenic Acid (vitamin B5), 3% of Manganese and Potassium, and 2% of Niacin and Magnesium.

 

 Studies have proven that drinking caffeine can increase your metabolism 3 to 11%. That’s right! It’s actually a fat burner!

 

And finally, if you’re like me and suffer from migraines, moderate amounts of caffeine can help stop an attack. However, that’s not to say you should start drinking it indiscriminately. If you ingest too much, it will have the opposite effect. Like everything, moderation is key. 

So, go out and treat yourself to a Cup of Joe today. And while doing so, here’s something to keep in mind:

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

~ Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes ~

Lovely Literary Lines

Tags

"The History of Love", Beautiful Quotations, James & Lily Potter, Nicole Krauss

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

~ Nicole Krauss, The History of Love ~

Brother ~ Ania Ahlborn – 4.5 Nightmarish Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Appalachia, Coming-of-age stories, Family Relationships, Horror, Mystery, Suspense

 I received this e-Arc from NetGalley and Gallery Books in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: September 9th, 20015

Synopsis: Deep in the heart of Appalachia stands a crooked farmhouse miles from any road. The Morrows keep to themselves, and it’s served them well so far. When girls go missing off the side of the highway, the cops don’t knock on their door. Which is a good thing, seeing as to what’s buried in the Morrows’ backyard.

But nineteen-year-old Michael Morrow isn’t like the rest of his family. He doesn’t take pleasure in the screams that echo through the trees. Michael pines for normalcy, and he’s sure that someday he’ll see the world beyond West Virginia. When he meets Alice, a pretty girl working at a record shop in the small nearby town of Dahlia, he’s immediately smitten. For a moment, he nearly forgets about the monster he’s become. But his brother Rebel, is all too eager to remind Michael of his place.

Creepy, horrifying, twisted, and deeply disturbing. Those are just a few adjectives that come to mind after reading Brother. But this is a good thing, because this book has everything a great horror novel should have. Plenty of psychological suspense, a few graphically gory scenes and seriously demented and complicated characters who you pray you’ll never meet in real life. This book was so atmospheric that I had Dueling Banjos from the movie Deliverance stuck in my head the entire time I was reading it.

Set in the 1980s, the first part of the story focuses on this evil and monstrous family unit, who kidnap young girls, and well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. The family is led by parents Wade and Claudine, who definitely aren’t Ward and June Cleaver types. Then there’s the seriously deviant oldest brother Ray, who likes to be called Reb, (short for Rebel) followed by Misty Dawn, who’s a young version of Stevie Nicks. Rounding out the group is young Michael who was kidnapped at the age of four and “adopted” by the Morrows. The beginning of the book alternates chapters detailing the family’s history, with ones exploring the early periods of Reb and Michael’s relationship as well as that of their sister Lauralyn, who is mysteriously absent from the present day passages.

Without venturing into spoiler territory let’s just say the family dynamic is extremely complicated and adds another layer of darkness to the story. While the majority of the plot revolves around Michael and Reb, you actually find out quite a bit about the other Morrows. The only exception is Wade where there’s not a lot said about except that he’s a Vietnam vet. The only family members who you feel any sympathy for are the two sisters and Michael. The latter especially evokes torn feelings. While he’s participated in his “adopted” family’s evil pastime, it sickens him and he struggles with feelings of guilt. He longs to escape from them and enter the real world, but he’s afraid of what will happen to Misty Dawn if he leaves. Michael is also firmly under Reb’s thumb. While I’m not a psychologist, it’s not difficult to see that Michael suffers from PTSD and Stockholm Syndrome. When he meets Alice, these feelings rise up even more so. While he tries to protect Alice from his evil family, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that their paths will cross, especially since Reb is involved and manipulating people and events.

There are a few scenes that are extremely graphic which not only detail what is done to the poor girls, but also the abuse that Michael and his sisters are forced to endure. However, Ahlborn employs psychological suspense as the main device in mesmerizing her readers. 

Ahlborn masterfully combines the themes of horror and abuse, with a more traditional coming-of-age story. The result is an intense and shocking read that is definitely not for the faint of heart. If you enjoy true horror with a southern gothic flare, I highly recommend this. Just don’t read it right before bedtime. Or while you’re on a road trip. Or camping.

 

 

Fairytale Funnies!

Tags

Disney, Fairytales, Humor, Sleeping Beauty

DISNEY

Teaching you not to talk to strangers unless they’re hot!

~ author unknown ~

Black Widow: Forever Red ~ by Margaret Stohl – 4.0 Stars

Tags

Adventure, Black Widow, Marvel Comics, S.H.I.E.L.D., Superheroes, Suspense, YA Fiction

 I received this e-Arc from NetGalley and Disney Book Group/Marvel Press, in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: October 13th, 2015

Synopsis: Natasha Romanoff is one of the world’s most lethal assassins. Trained from a young age in the arts of death and deception, Natasha was given the title of Black Widow by Ivan Somodorov, her brutal teacher at the Red Room, Moscow’s infamous academy for operatives.

Ava Orlova is just trying to fit in as an average Brooklyn teenager, but her life has been anything but average. The daughter of a missing Russian quantum physicist, Ava was once subjected to a series of ruthless military experiments–until she was rescued by Black Widow and placed under S.H.I.E.L.D. protection. Ava has always longed to reconnect with her mysterious savior, but Black Widow isn’t really the big sister type. 

Until now.

When children all over Eastern Europe begin to go missing, and rumors of smuggled Red Room tech light up the dark net, Natasha suspects her old teacher has returned–and that Ava Orlova might be the only one who can stop him. To defeat the madman who threatens their future, Natasha and Ava must unravel their pasts. Only then will they discover the truth about the dark-eyed boy with an hourglass tattoo who haunts Ava’s dreams…

At fifty-years-old, I’m still a comic book geek at heart, so when I first heard that this book was in the works last year I was a little excited.

Naturally, when it appeared on NetGalley I immediately requested it, and when I was approved, I want you all to know I was the epitome of calm, cool, and collected, and never reacted like this: 

Or this:

Or even this:

No. I’ve been patiently waiting to read and review this until it was a little closer to the release date. I started reading about 3:00 yesterday afternoon, and after a few unwelcome interruptions like my husband requesting supper, and me not being able to resist watching the premiere of Scream Queens, I finally finished about 2:30 this morning. So, was it everything I hoped for? For the most part I give a resounding “Yes!”

Margaret Stohl does an excellent job capturing the essence of Natasha Romanoff, aka, Black Widow. I’ve always had a sort of love/hate thing going with this character. On the one hand she’s an awesome, kick-ass heroine who takes no prisoners, yet at times, she also comes across as being cold and remote, which makes her a little bit unlikable. Stohl keeps all her strengths while also delving into her traumatic past, which makes for a much more sympathetic character that readers can relate to. For me, Black Widow actually winds up taking over the story. I’m not sure if this was Stohl’s intention, but I wound up impatiently skimming through the sections with Ava and Alex, so I could get back to Natasha.

That’s not to say that Ava and Alex weren’t interesting. They each came with an intriguing backstory. Ava with her ties to Black Widow, and the Red Room, is a sympathetic and appealing character who gives an imaginative spin to that particular mythology arc. And Alex, although he started out as rather a bland personality, quickly evolved into something much more than just the romantic love interest of Ava’s. Their relationship is definitely a case of the dreaded and predictable insta-love, but there’s so much action going on that it never really got to the point of being annoying.

Rounding out the characters are Agent Coulson,

and Tony Stark.

Although they’re strictly there as supporting characters and only make brief appearances, once again Stohl does a wonderful job capturing their personalities. Tony Stark, with his suave, devil-may-care attitude, and Coulson’s dry sense of humor literally leap off the page. I honestly felt as though I was watching an Avenger’s movie, or ABC’ s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!

The villain, Ivan Somodorov was your typical over-the-top Marvel nemesis, but I’ve found this to be the same case with evil-doers in the comics, films, and tv series. I’ve always gotten the sense that far less time is spent on developing their characters, but for a few exceptions like The Flash’s Eobard Thawn, aka, Reverse Flash. This is just my humble opinion mind you.

The plot itself is fast-paced, and the action never lets up. The fight scenes are particularly spectacular, and I found myself wincing in sympathy during several of them. This is definitely classic spy stuff with plenty of high-tech gadgetry, disguises, and chase scenes. I also loved the inclusion of Russian words and phrases which pepper the story. They’re beautifully written in, and were a continual reminder that many of the characters have ties to Russia. 

Overall I found Black Widow: Forever Red to be a thrilling and imaginative start to a new series. While staying true to Black Widow’s origin story, there’s plenty of new twists and turns to entice fans, as well as attract readers not familiar with the Marvel universe. As of yet, I haven’t heard of a reaction from Stan Lee, but I can’t imagine he won’t be pleased with this latest interpretation of his creations. While technically a YA book, there’s plenty here to appeal to adult readers. I’m highly anticipating the next book! For right now though, after that late night reading session, I’m going to take a nap.

Divine Vices ~ by Melissa Parkin – 4.0 Stars

Tags

Mystery, Paranormal, Romance, Suspense, YA Fiction

 I received this ebook from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: September 29, 2015

Synopsis: The last thing sixteen-year-old Cassie Foster needs is trouble, but that doesn’t stop him from finding her. 

Nine months after the tragic accident that killed her mother and sister, this high school junior just wants a fresh start. Settling down in the quiet town of New Haven, Maine, she’s found peace at last…until the new resident bad boy, Jackson Matthews, comes into the picture. Arrogant, sarcastic, and devastatingly sexy, he’s the very last thing Caddie wants to entertain. Romance was never part of the plan. But when terrifying circumstances drive these two together, she finds herself in over her head and drawn in by his allure. As local girls begin disappearing, Cassie can’t help but wonder if it’s just a coincidence that everything started when this blue-eyed Casanova strolled into town. Will falling into Jackson’s arms mean she’ll be falling victim to a real lady-killer…or worse?

The answer will open the door to a world she never thought possible.

Divine Vices combines several popular YA elements: The paranormal, contemporary high school life, mystery, and forbidden love. Melissa Parkin takes these and adds some unique twists which prevents this from becoming too predictable and makes it an enjoyable read.

This is definitely a character driven story. Cassie is an appealing heroine who many teens will relate to. She’s suffered a horrible tragedy with the loss of her mother and sister, and because of that she’s had to grow up quicker than normal. She soldiers on with the help of her two best friends Ian and Gwen who are as different from one another as night and day. Despite this, this trio are completely supportive and loyal to one another. I also liked the peek at Cassie’s relationship with her dad. I’m hoping more of that will be explored in the next book.

I have to admit, I didn’t care for Jackson at all. Yes he’s good-looking but he’s also an arrogant, egotistical misogynist who really got on my nerves. That said, I understand the bad boy appeal, although I found myself wanting to take Cassie by the shoulders several times and push her in the direction of Ian, who I personally loved. He actually wound up being one of my favorite characters with because of his sweetness, goth/steampunk personna, and mad magic skills. He’s one of those personalities that stand out, long after you’ve finished a book.

There’s plenty of suspense which kept me turning the pages although I did feel that for the first half of the book there was too much dialogue and not enough action. Granted, the banter was witty and entertaining, but I was a little frustrated at times that the plot wasn’t moving forward a little quicker. Once I hit that halfway mark though, everything began to come together, culminating in an exciting conclusion which has me looking forward to the sequel.

Divine Vices heralds the arrival of a promising new arrival to YA fiction. With it’s combination of the paranormal, mystery, suspense, and romance genres, I think this will appeal to a wide audience. 

 

September 19th ~ Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Tags

Humor, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, The Hillywood Show

Once upon a time back in 1995, John “Ol Chumbucket” Bauer and his friend Mark “Cap’n Slappy” Summers began slinging insults at each other in true pirate fashion as they played racquetball. They chose September 19th for this fledgling holiday because it was Summers ex-wife’s birthday and he figured “the date was stuck in my head, and I wasn’t going to do anything with it anymore.” But it wasn’t until humorist Dave Barry joined in, that Talk Like a Pirate Day really took sail. If you’re like me and want to embrace your inner pirate, here are a few ways to have fun today:

While out and about, try some colorful pirate vocabulary like: “Arrr!”, “Savvy”, “Swab the deck”, “Ahoy, me hearties!”, “Matey”, “Blimey”, “Blow me down!” and of course, the classic “Shiver me timbers”. 

How about some some pirate jokes to tickle the funnybone.

“What kind of socks does a pirate wear?–Arrrgyle!”

“What’s the problem with the way a pirate speaks?–Arrrticulation!”

And finally:

“A little boy is trick or treatin’ on Halloween by himself. He’s dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, ‘where are your buccaneers?’ The little boy responds, ‘On either side o’ me ‘buccan head!”.

 

Use some romantic pirate pick-up lines on your significant other.

“I sure would like to pillage your booty!”

“Yo, ho ho! How ’bouts a bottle of rum?”

“I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ your chest!

Or my personal favorite:

“You put the shiver in me timbers!”

If you live in the U.S., and you’d like to put some “grub in your gullet”, many Krispy Kreme outlets are rewarding the best dressed buccaneer with a bounty of a dozen free doughnuts. Or, if you don’t feel like dressing up, (Although why wouldn’t you?), you can still get one free doughnut just by talking like a pirate! Long John Silver restaurants are also giving out free food to enterprising pirates. They have some dress code rules so you may want to check out their website at: http://www.ljsilvers.com 

They also have some other fun things on the site including a pirate name generator. Just in case you’re wondering, mine’s Shipwreck Sasha. I’m thinking of having my name legally changed!

If you do choose to celebrate today, make sure you include your loved ones. Believe me, they’ll thank you. Okay. Maybe not. But they’ll look cute!

Finally, if you do nothing else piratie, er, piratish today, check out the Hillywood Show’s Pirates of the Caribbean Parody on YouTube. I’m sorry I still haven’t figured out how to do links on this blasted tablet, but I’m telling you, these girls are amazing! Plus, Hilly Hindi makes a scarily good Captain Jack Sparrow!

Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights ~ by Salman Rushdie – 3.5 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Magical Realism, Romantic Fiction, Satire

 I received this ebook from NetGalley and Random House in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis: In the near future, after a storm strikes New York City, the strangenesses begins. A down-to-earth gardener finds his feet no longer touch the ground. A graphic novelist awakens in his bedroom to a mysterious entity that resembles his own sub-Stan Lee creation. Abandoned at the mayor’s office, a baby identifies corruption with her mere presence, marking the guilty with blemishes and boils. A seductive gold digger is soon tapped to combat forces beyond imagining.

Unbeknownst to them, they are all descended from the whimsical, capricious, wanton creatures known as the jinn, who live in a world separated from ours by a veil. Centuries ago, Dunia a princess of the jinn, fell in love with a mortal man of reason. Together they produced an astonishing number of children, unaware of their fantastical powers, who spread across generations in the human world. 

Once the line between world’s is breached on a grand scale, Dunia’s children and others will play a role in an epic war between light and dark spanning a thousand and one nights–or two years, eight months, and twenty-eight nights. It is a time of enormous upheaval, in which beliefs are challenged, words act like poison, silence is a disease, and a noise may contain a hidden curse.

I have to begin by admitting this is my first Salman Rushdie novel, although I’ve certainly heard of him. Now that I’ve read this, I must say his writing style is quite unlike any others’ I’ve read previously. At times it’s exciting and imaginative, and flows beautifully, and at others it devolves into convoluted rambling, which forced me into re-reading several passages. 

I think part of the problem is the length of the chapters. I read this on my Kindle and most of them took at least a 1/2 hour to 45 minutes to read. Each chapter relays information about two separate characters as well as providing multiple story backgrounds and world-building. Perhaps that if each character had gotten their own chapter, things may have flowed a little more smoothly. Instead, I was left with this rather haphazard and choppy storyline which made it difficult for me to relate to any of the characters. I’d just be getting to know one person, when snap, another one would be introduced, or more world-building would be revealed. To tell you the truth it left my head swimming at times.

I also had a difficult time relating to most of the characters. Some were wonderfully developed like Dunia, and the gardener, Mr. Geronimo. They were fascinating and I found myself disappointed when the story would abruptly veer away from them. The other characters seemed a little wooden, and underdeveloped which made it difficult to care about what happened to them.

I think what ultimately made this book a difficult one to read is that it tries to do too much in under 300 pages.  The story spans millennia and encompasses the historical, fantasy, romance, and philosophical genres. There’s just so much going on it’s hard to focus on a particular character or event. Despite it’s flaws though I think many readers will be intrigued by Rushdie’s latest work, particularly if you’re already a fan. It is thought-provoking and slyly humorous and ties in with our own current events quite nicely. I’m actually happy I read this because it’s made me want to try some of his previous books like Midnight’s Children. If you’re new to Rushdie’s writing as I am however, I suggest you also start with one of his earlier books. I think familiarizing yourself with his style may make Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights easier to follow and more enjoyable.

Whimsical Wednesday

Tags

C.S. Lewis, Inspirational quotes, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

~ C.S. Lewis ~