Thanks to NetGalley and Del Rey Books for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: Available Now

384 Pages

Synopsis: Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born…and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there isa faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First, there’s the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy’s untimely death…and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.


Kill the Farm Boy has been one of my most anticipated novels of 2018. How could it not be with that gorgeous cover and fun premise? Plus, one of the co-authors, Kevin Hearne, is on my top five list of favorite fantasy writers list. I was expecting a fairy tale parody with some Terry Pratchett, Monty Python and Princess Bride thrown in. Instead, much to my dismay, I got raunchy, juvenile humor and double entendres that might appeal to a teenage boy, but for me grew stale very quickly. Despite it being a fairy tale set in the past the story is filled with anachronisms which add to the awkwardness. 

The characters are interesting riffs on familiar ones:  the Chosen One, the Dark Lord, a seven foot tall Amazon-esque female warrior who’s an aspiring horticulturist, an untalented bard who’s been cursed to be a half-rabbit, and a clumsy rogue assassin with a fear of chickens. While they’re diverse and somewhat appealing, they aren’t enough to overcome the non-stop cringeworthy humor. 

There are many 4-5 star reviews on Goodreads, but unfortunately Kill the Farm Boy wasn’t my cup of tea. There are just too many poop and penis jokes and not enough substance. It took me over a week to get through it because I kept putting it down, reading other books, before reluctantly picking it up again. In my opinion not even Miracle Max could breathe life into this.