Happy Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day!

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Happy Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day!, Humor

To mark this auspicious day that’s been celebrated here in the U.S. since 1992, here are a few funny quotes with adorable munchkin pictures.

Sorry, but your child told your boss what you really think.

 

Take your child to work day is a wonderful opportunity to pull the fire alarm and blame the children.

Taking my kid to work will only further reinforce how easily I can be replaced by a six-year-old.

I refuse to take my kids to work because they’re so much more talented on those computer things then I am.

If you’re not a princess or a cowboy, get ready to disappoint a kid on Bring a Kid to Work Day.

 

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Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe, by Preston Norton ~ 4.5 Stars

Tags

Bullying, Child Abuse, Contemporary Fiction, Drug Abuse, High School, Homophobia, Humor, Religious Fanaticism, Suicide, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Disney-Hyperion for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: June 5th, 2018

400 Pages

Synopsis: Cliff Hubbard is a huge loser. Literally. His nickname at Happy Valley High School is Neanderthal because he’s so enormous—-6’6” and 250 pounds to be exact. He has no one at school and life at his trailer park home has gone from bad to worse since his older brother’s suicide.

There’s no one Cliff hates more than the nauseatingly cool quarterback, Aaron Zimmerman. Then Aaron returns to school after a near-death experience with a bizarre claim: while he was unconscious he saw God, who gave him a list of things to do to make Happy Valley High suck less. And God said there’s only one person who can help: Neanderthal.

To his own surprise, Cliff says he’s in. As he and Aaron make their way through the List, which involves a vindictive English teacher, a mysterious computer hacker, a decidedly unchristian cult of Jesus Teens, the local drug dealers, and the meanest bully at HVHS—-Cliff feels like he’s part of something for the first time since losing his brother. But fixing a broken school isn’t as simple as it seems, and just when Cliff thinks they’ve completed the List, he realizes their mission hits closer to home than he ever imagined.

Neanderthal Opens the Door To The Universe is one of those books that took me by surprise in regards to how much I liked it. While some of the dialogue is a little awkward and it’s intentionally filled with high school cliches, because of the well-rounded and relatable characters, interesting plot, and positive message, it has a certain charm to it that I think will appeal to a wide audience. The story tackles many social issues: suicide, drug abuse, religious fanaticism, homophobia, bullying, and child abuse. But it never devolves into an annoying after school special/soap opera. This is partly due to the dry humor that pervades the story, but also because the darker themes are balanced by the inspiring responses from the teenage characters.

In the end, Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe is quite uplifting and it’s a story I won’t forget anytime soon. Because of the colorful language involved and dark topics, I wouldn’t recommend this for older teens. I think it’s a wonderful choice for high school classrooms, forthcoming summer reading lists, and book discussion groups.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Tags

Friday the 13th, Humor

Aru Shah and the End of Time (Pandava Quartet #1), By Roshani Chokshi ~ 5.0 Stars

Tags

Adventure, Diversity, Hindu Mythology, Humor, Middle Grade Fiction, Thriller

Thanks to NetGalley and Rick Riordan Presents/Disney Hyperion for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: Available Now

368 Pages

Synopsis: Twelve-year-old Aru Shah has a tendency to stretch the truth in order to fit in at school. While her classmates are jetting off to family vacations in exotic locales, she’ll be spending her autumn break at home, in the Museum of Ancient Indian Art and Culture, waiting for her mom to return from her latest archeological trip. Is it any wonder Aru makes up stories about being royalty, traveling to Paris, and having a chauffeur?

One day, three schoolmates show up at Aru’s doorstep and catch her in a lie. They don’t believe her claim that the museum’s Lamp of Bharata is cursed, and they dare Aru to prove it. ‘Just a quick light,’ Aru thinks. Then she can get herself out of this mess and never ever fib again. 

But lighting the lamp has dire consequences. She unwittingly frees the Sleeper, an ancient demon whose duty it is to awaken the God of Destruction. Her classmates and beloved mother are frozen in time, and it’s up to Aru to save them.

The only way to stop the demon is to find the reincarnations of the five legendary Pandava brothers, protagonists of the Hindu epic poem, ‘Mahabharata,’ and journey through the Kingdom of Death. But how is one girl in Spider-Man pajamas supposed to do all that?

Aru Shah and the End of Time is a phenomenal beginning to this new middle-grade series by YA author Roshani Chokshi (The Star-Touched Queen and A Crown of Wishes). A fantasy based on Hindu mythology, the two main characters, Aru and Mini, are completely relatable and despite their vulnerabilities, wind up putting the “Grrrr” in girl power. The story is beautifully told and is fantastically diverse. It also has all the thrilling action, adventure, and laugh-out-loud humor that Rick Riordan is himself famous for.

This is the first book in the new Rick Riordan Presents imprint which empowers other authors to write stories inspired by mythology and folklore of their own heritage. Roshani has three more books planned for the Pandava Quartet, which I can’t wait for. Sadly the next book, Aru Shah and the Song of Death doesn’t come out until next April so I’m going to be on pins and needles waiting for that. However, as part of this new venture put together by “Uncle Rick”, J.C. Cervantes’ book, Storm Runner, which is a contemporary mystery based around Mayan mythology is coming out in September. And in January 2019, Dragon Pearl, by Yoon Ha Lee goes on sale. This is said to combine Korean mythology and space opera! To say I’m excited about this new imprint, doesn’t quite do my feelings justice. These are the kinds of books that if I was still a children’s librarian, I’d be pushing them into the hands of every middle-schooler who walked through the door!

Happily, by Chauncey Rogers ~ 4.5 Stars

Tags

Adventure, Fairytales, Humor, Juvenile Fiction

Thank you to Chauncey Rogers for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: April 3rd, 2018

314 Pages

Synopsis: 

If the shoe fits, wear it.

If it doesn’t, make it.

Laure is a street urchin just trying to get away. Where the rest of the world sees an enchanting love story, Laure sees royal incompetence and an opportunity to exploit it. She’ll have wealth and a way out of a life she detests., if she can only manage to hoodwink the royal family and live to tell the tale.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, you know you’re reading something special when you’re doing everything you can to put off getting to the end of a book. Happily is one of these treasures. 

Back in January, I read Chauncey’s thriller/horror novel, Cleaving Souls, which kept me up reading until the wee hours of the morning. Happily did the same thing only for entirely different reasons. This isn’t quite a fairytale retelling, as Cinderella doesn’t even make an appearance until the end of the story. To give you an idea of how different this book is, here’s how it opens:

Before I start, however, we need to get a few things straight. First, I don’t like questions. They get people off track, they almost always would have been answered if the person had just kept listening, and they’re usually stupid. Yes, stupid. Whoever says otherwise is an idiot. Second, I’ve been told to tell you my story. Not my life story, so forget about learning about my childhood. Just the story of the glass slipper and my engagement to the prince—-the whole story. I don’t want to do this twice; let’s get it right the first time, shall we? There are only a few hours until the wedding ceremony, so sit down, get comfortable, and let’s get this over with—-that way you can leave, which will be great for both of us. Because the third, final, and perhaps most important thing for you to understand is this: I don’t like you.Try not to take it too personally—-I don’t like most people. Really, you’re probably in good company. You’re probably in pretty bad company, too, since there are a lot of idiots, creeps, and perverts who I don’t like either. There’s a group of people that I particularly dislike, however, and my story starts with them.

And that sassy, sarcastic voice belongs to Laure, the snarky, stubborn, cranky heroine of this book. As the story begins, she’s a street urchin who thinks of no one except for herself. But as the story develops it’s obvious that behind her self-absorbed exterior lies so much more. When she meets up with the adorably sweet Luc, he brings out the best in her and before you reach the halfway point, it’s obvious these two are soulmates.

As always, I’m not going to give away any spoilers, but let’s just say the story has a lovely romance, rollicking adventure, plenty of humor, fantastic world-building, and one of the most imaginative plots I’ve come across in a very long time. The only reason why I’m giving this less than a perfect 5 stars is because I thought everything came together a little too quickly at the end. But this is a very minor complaint.

In the end, I cannot recommend Happily highly enough for children and adults. Chauncey has taken an often retold story, and given it a unique and refreshing spin, filled with teachable moments. If you’re a fan of fairytales like: Ella Enchanted, Ever After (with Drew Barrymore), The Princess Bride, and Aladdin, you need to read this ASAP! It’s a beautiful escape from real world woes, and I guarantee you’ll be utterly captivated. And if you read this review Chauncey, I’m putting in my request for a sequel now. PLEASE! Oh, and I’d like to thank Chauncey’s young daughter for requesting that her dad write a story for her. Because of her wish, we are all beneficiaries of this fanciful tale.

 

Winter Woes

Tags

Humor, Winter Woes

Okay. I know you’re all seeing this and thinking, “Oh God! Kim’s whining about the weather again.” But honestly. We’re getting hit with our THIRD Nor’Easter in less than TWO weeks! And, where we are, on the coast, we’re supposed to get hit with 15-20 inches of snow. Seriously? Well, I’m trying to keep a sense of humor about this, so here’s what is hopefully my last humorous winter post.

Whimsical Wednesday ~ Valentine’s Day Edition

Tags

Humor, Valentine's Day, Whimsical Wednesday

 

Whether You’re Single Or You Have A Significant Other, Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

 

Happy Groundhog Day ~ 2018

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Groundhog Day 2018, Humor

Whimsical Wednesday ~ Cold & Flu Edition

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Humor, Whimsical Wednesday

The Wendy (Tales of the Wendy #1), by Erin Michelle Sky and Steven Brown ~ 5.0 Stars

Tags

Fantasy Retellings, Historical Fantasy, Humor, Misogyny, YA Fiction

Thanks to the authors for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: Available Now

288 Pages

Synopsis: 

London. 1783. Wendy Darling is an orphan, living in an overcrowded almshouse, ridiculed for believing in a future she can never have. More than anything in the world, she wants to be the captain of a ship. But that’s impossible. Isn’t it?

By 1789, she’s sixteen, old enough to be sold into service as a dressmaker or a servant. When she learns the Home Office is accepting a handful of women into its ranks, she jumps at the chance, joining the flight against the most formidable threat England has ever faced. Magic.

But the secret service isn’t exactly what she had hoped. Accompanied by a reimagined cast of the original Peter Pan, Wendy soon discovers that her dreams are as far away as ever, that choosing sides isn’t as simple as she thought, and that the only man who isn’t blinded by her gender…might be her nation’s greatest enemy.

A couple of weeks ago, I took part in the blog tour for The Wendy. I was very excited as I loved the cover and the excerpt that was provided. Well, after finishing the book last night, I’m thrilled to say it exceeded my expectations.

The Wendy is more than a simple retelling, despite having the familiar characters of Wendy, John, Michael, Nana, Peter Pan, Captain James Hook, and Tinkerbell. Set in Jane Austen’s England when misogyny was rife, Wendy is a diviner with the British Home Office and Clandestine Services. Women and dogs (which is where Nana comes in) are the only ones able to sense magic. Unfortunately, despite this ability, women are still judged solely by their gender, something Wendy is determined to overcome. I absolutely LOVED her! Her intellect is a sharp as a rapier and I was in stitches over the way the males in the book are so often left completely nonplussed by her. I’m not going to go into details, but even her eyebrow hysterically takes on a personality of it’s own! I know this sounds odd, but you’ll just have to trust me on this. Not only a learned scholar, she also is a better fighter than most of the men she serves with, including John and Michael. Her steely determination to realize her dream is such a positive message and readers won’t be able to stop themselves from cheering for her.

Peter is the leader of the everlost—winged beings with pointy fangs. He’s just as cocky as the original Pan, yet there’s a sweet innocence about him. The scene where he and Wendy first meet, is my favorite. At first he completely underestimates her because she’s a woman, yet he quickly comes to admire and respect her and their banter is just as much fun as the sword fight. An underlying romance starts to develop between the two, and I can’t wait to see how their relationship develops in the next book. 

I’m going to stop at describing everyone else, because I don’t want to be any more spoilerish than I already have been. I’m just going to say that EVERYONE is simply perfect; from the ever loyal John, Michael, and Nana; to Hook who is villainous yet endearing at the same time. Each character, while based on the original is so unique and imaginative that I fully fell in love with them.

And if the wonderful characters aren’t enough, there’s the creative and exciting plot. In addition to Barrie’s classic, I’ve read five or six retellings of this story and I didn’t think I could be surprised anymore. Well, the authors managed to not only keep me enthralled, but also to surprise me by the direction their story took.

The Wendy isn’t simply another YA fantasy book. This is a gorgeously told tale that all adult fans of historical fantasy should experience, especially if you have fond memories of the original Peter Pan. With a heroine whose fierce determination and wit leap off the page, it’s most welcome as current events have shown that misogyny is sadly alive and well even now. My one disappointment is that I have no idea when the second book will be coming out. I realize it’s only January, but I already know The Wendy is going to be one of my favorite books of 2018 and I’m going to be re-reading it multiple times in the future. If you love fantasy and you’re looking for a perfect escape from the winter doldrums, politics, or you need a break from the world in general—please, PLEASE treat yourself and pick up this book. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.