What Lies Between Us, by John Marrs ~ 5.0 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Dysfunctional Families, Mental Illness, Mystery, Substance Abuse, Suspense

Thanks to NetGalley and Thomas & Mercer for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: May 15th, 2020

371 Pages

Synopsis: They say every house has its secrets and, the house Maggie and Nina have shared for so long is no different. Except that these secrets are not buried in the past.

Every other night, Maggie and Nina have dinner together. When they are finished, Nina helps Maggie back to her room in the attic, and into the heavy chain that keeps her there. Because Maggie has done things to Nina that can’t ever be forgiven, and now she is paying the price.

But there are many things about the past that Nina doesn’t know, and Maggie is going to keep it that way—even if it kills her.

Because in this house, the truth is more dangerous than lies.

I’ve been trying to stick with light, fluffy “escapist” fare lately, for obvious reasons. What Lies Between Us is definitely not that. No. This is more “WHAT. THE. HELL. DID. I. JUST. READ?” kind of book!

Everything, EVERYTHING works here. To say Maggie and Nina are complicated is a huge understatement. I went through the first part of the book thinking one was pure evil. Then, about the midway point, I changed my mind and was sure the other was the spawn of Satan. And then during the last few chapters my opinion changed yet again! Between these and the other jaw-dropping revelations, my head was spinning when I finished this three hours after I started.

Just like its characters, the storyline is dark, twisted, and deeply disturbing. Yes, what happens most likely would never occur in real life, but in a story like this, who cares! Marr keeps ratcheting up the suspense bit by bit until it almost becomes unbearable, and from chapter to chapter I didn’t know what was going to happen next. The only thing that was certain was that I wasn’t putting this down until I reached the end. Speaking of—what an ending! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it in the last 24 hours since I finished!

What Lies Between Us is definitely going to be on my shortlist of favorite books of 2020. Unsurprisingly it’s already been snapped up by Hollywood (Renee Zellweger’s Big Picture Co/MGM TV production company). I’m already thinking Amy Adams as Nina, and Glenn Close or Meryl Streep as Maggie. I cannot recommend this nail biting thriller for readers who love dark, twisty mysteries and loads of family drama. It’s a memorable read which I guarantee will take up long term residency in your head after you’ve finished! Preorder this from your favorite retailer, or file a request at your library now. I guarantee this is going to be one of the most buzzed about books of the summer!

The Lucky Ones, by Liz Lawson ~ 5.0 Stars

Tags

Coming-of age, LGBTQ, Mass shootings, Mental Illness, Romance, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Delacorte Press for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: April 7th, 2020

352 Pages

Synopsis: For fans of “Thirteen Reasons Why,” “This Is How It Ends,” and “All the Bright Places,” comes a new novel about life after. How do you put yourself back together when it seems like you’ve lost it all?

May is a survivor. But she doesn’t feel like one. She feels angry. And lost. And alone. Eleven months after the school shooting, that killed her twin brother, May still doesn’t know why she was the only one to walk out of the band room that day. No one gets what she went through—no one saw and heard what she did. No one can possibly understand how it feels to be her.

Zach lost his old life when his mother decided to defend the shooter. His girlfriend dumped him, his friends bailed, and now he spends his time hanging out with his little sister…and the one faithful friend who stuck around. His best friend is needy and demanding, but he won’t let Zack disappear into himself. Which is how Zach ends up at band practice that night. The same night May goes with her best friend to audition for a new band.

Which is how May meets Zach. And how Zach meets May. And how both might figure out that surviving could be an option after all.

After reading The Lucky Ones last night over a two hour period I feel comfortable in saying this will be one of the most talked about books of 2020.

Told in alternating perspectives from May, the only survivor of a school shooting and Zach, whose mother has taken on the case of the shooter, the story explores the aftermath, when the cameras have left and the media’s and country’s attention has moved on to the next calamity-driven news cycle. May, who lost her twin brother is not only angry but is also suffering from survivor’s guilt and PTSD. Her fury and anguish are so palpable and just tore my heart in two. And Zach, a sweet awkward boy, has gone from having a normal social life, to dealing with being ostracized simply for being the son of the lawyer defending the shooter. That these two should meet and actually start healing each other shouldn’t have worked, yet it does. Their relationship has its ups and downs, but it develops in an utterly believable way. It’s messy, and tension-filled, and at times even humorous, but what remains constant is the need for these two lost souls to beat the odds and stay together. They each have a support system in place with their small group of friends, and thank goodness for that because the adult/parental disconnect is prevalent. By the end of the book though there’s hope for a strengthening in the bond between May and her mother, and Zach and his parents.

The Lucky Ones is an impressive debut for Liz Lawson, and I have a feeling we’ll be hearing a lot more from her. I’m not going to lie. This is an emotional, gut-wrenching tale, and I recommend that you have a box of tissues handy. It’s also a book that I feel privileged to have been granted an early copy and it’s one that I highly recommend for teens, parents, and any adult who cares about what kids are having to deal with today, things that we didn’t have to. The story doesn’t get political or wade into the gun control debate, although I recommend you read the author’s afterward where she discusses why she wrote this. Instead, it puts a human face to what life is like after a mass shooting. If there is going to be one book that I nag everyone to mark their calendars (4/7/20) and read, it’s The Lucky Ones. This is a book that every high school and public library should have on its shelves, so if you can, please put in requests to purchase to your libraries now. 

Baby Teeth, by Zoje Stage ~ 4.0 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Dysfunctional Families, Horror, Mental Illness, Psychological Thriller

Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: July 17th, 2018

320 Pages

Synopsis: Sweetness can be deceptive.

Meet Hanna.

She’s the sweet-but-silent angel in the adoring eyes of her Daddy. He’s the only person who understands her, and all Hanna wants is to live happily ever after with him. But Mommy stands in her way, and she’ll try any trick she can think of to get rid of, ideally for good.

Meet Suzette.

She loves her daughter, really, but after years of expulsions and strained home schooling, her precarious health and sanity are weakening day by day. As Hanna’s tricks become increasingly sophisticated, and Suzette’s husband remains blind to the failing family dynamics, Suzette starts to fear that there’s something seriously wrong, and that maybe home isn’t the best place for their baby girl after all.

 Let me say from the onset that Baby Teeth will not be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s dark and disturbing, and when I finished it last night I found myself unable to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

The 3rd person narrative alternates between Hanna and her mother. Hanna is a seven-year-old precocious child, who presents two completely different sides to her parents, Suzette and Alex. With her father, she’s a sweet little angel, but with her mother, she increasingly demonstrates how much she resents and hates her. While seeing Hanna’s perspective adds to the intensity of the story, there are some inconsistencies with her thinking and actions. As each of her chapters begins, she sounds and acts like the seven-year-old she is, albeit a disturbingly creepy one. But then her mental thoughts turn into sophisticated ones that come across as way too adult, even for an exceptionally bright child. This aside, the author crafts her into at times a sympathetic figure, but more often than not, a menacing one who scared the heck out of me.

While Suzette isn’t perfect by any means, I felt a lot of empathy for her. She suffers from a particularly nasty case of Crohn’s disease, and this coupled with her surviving a childhood filled with neglect, had me forming an instant connection with her, even when I didn’t agree with her responses to Hanna. She loves her daughter yet is increasingly afraid of her. When you add in anger and resentment, you have a mother who’s not only at war with her daughter, but also herself.

I didn’t care for Alex in the beginning as he’s written as your stereotypical father who’s clueless and in denial about his daughter, but about halfway in, he starts to realize that Suzanne may be right about Hanna. Watching him come to grips with the truth, trying to protect his wife while still loving his daughter, adds another layer to this twisted yet  captivating tale.

The ending wasn’t a huge surprise, but it was one of several that I had envisioned and I found it believable. Overall, I enjoyed(?) Baby Teeth and I’m impressed with Zoje Stage’s debut. It’s an unflinching look at at childhood mental illness and a couple’s difficulty of finding help and coping with it. It’s a riveting domestic thriller with horror added in which should appeal to fans of books such as Lionel Shriver’s We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Go Home, Afton (Afton Morrison, Book 1), By Brent Jones ~ 5.0 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Mental Illness, Mystery, Sexual Assault, Thriller

Thanks to NetGalley and Brent Jones for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: June 25th, 2018

156 Pages

Synopsis: We all wear masks, and Afton Morrison is no exception.

A small-town librarian with a dark side, Afton,twenty-six, has suppressed violent impulses her entire adult life. Impulses that demand she commit murder.

Blending her urges with reason, Afton stalks a known sexual predator, intending to kill him. But her plan, inspired by true crime and hatched with meticulous care, is interrupted by a mysterious figure from her past. A dangerous man that lurks in the shadows, watching, threatening to turn the huntress into the hunted.

Go Home, Afton is the first of four parts in a new serial thriller by author Brent Jones. Packed with grit and action, The Afton Morrison Series delves into a world of moral ambiguity, delivering audiences an unlikely heroine in the form of a disturbed vigilante murderess.

Have you ever read a book and thought that the author seemed to write it specifically for you? That’s exactly how I felt after finishing Go Home, Afton. I first saw this reviewed on Nicole’s fantastic blog—The Bookworm Drinketh. If you’d like to check out her review, please visit: https://thebookwormdrinketh.com/2018/06/19/go-home-afton-by-brent-jones/ After reading her review I had an inkling I was going to enjoy it, but little did I know how much!

Afton is a complicated character. She’s definitely suffering from multiple mental illnesses including dissociative identity disorder, which stem from a certain incident in her past, but she stubbornly fights against her murderous impulses, before finally deciding to kill only those who deserve it. She has an alter she talks to who represents the truly violent side of her. Their snappy dialogue is one of the best parts of the book. I emphasized with Afton in a few ways, particularly her dislike of the some of the mothers who bring their children to storyhour. She isn’t a sociable individual, but she has a brother who she’s close to and reluctantly forms a bond with her young, teenage library aide, Kim. While Afton has selected her first victim, a sexual predator who has been charged several times with sexual assault yet remains free, things don’t go the way she wants them to. Adding to her troubles is the mysterious and sinister “Man in the Shadows” who seems to be stalking her. This first novella ends in a cliffhanger, but thankfully the 2nd book will be available 8/7/18.

I cannot recommend Go Home, Afton highly enough. It’s a refreshingly original thriller that I breezed through in a couple of hours. Afton is a snarky anti-hero that readers will find themselves emphasizing with and liking. And for a novella, it’s remarkable how much detail the author includes. I do warn you that while it’s not graphic, the story centers around sexual assault which could be a trigger for some. This is a fantastic start to this series and I can’t wait to pick up Book 2, See You Soon, Afton.

Alone, by Cyn Balog ~ 3.5 Stars

Tags

Family Relationships, Horror Fiction, Mental Illness, Mystery, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: November 1st, 2017

288 Pages

Synopsis: When her mom inherits an old, crumbling mansion, Seda’s almost excited to spend the summer there. The grounds are beautiful and it’s fun to explore the sprawling house with its creepy rooms and secret passages. Except now her mom wants to renovate, rather than sell the estate—which means they’re not going back to the city…or Seda’s friends and school.

As the days grow shorter, Seda is filled with dread. They’re about to be cut off from the outside world, and she’s not sure she can handle the solitude or the darkness it brings out in her.

Then a group of teens get stranded near the mansion during a blizzard. Seda has no choice but to offer them shelter, even though she knows danger lurks in the dilapidated mansion—and in herself. And as the snow continues to fall, what Seda fears most is about to become her reality…

Welcome to the Bismarck-Chisholm House—where murder is only the beginning of the fun! Stay in one of eighteen comfortable guest rooms. You’ll sleep like the dead. We guarantee it…

How bone-chillingly cool is that opening? If you think the premise sounds vaguely familiar, you’d be right. Alone pays homage to The Shining , even mentioning it during one scene, yet it has several unique twists of its own. 

Seda is an unreliable narrator and her actions kept me off guard throughout the story. She’s isolated in a creepy rundown mansion that used to be a hotel that held themed murder mysteries for their guests. Except for a general store twenty miles away there’s no other contact with the outside world as they have no cell phone service or landline. And to top things off, the father, fed up with his wife’s insistence that the house only be sold to someone who will stay true to its history, deserts the family. After four months of this, Seda seemingly goes from a once popular sixteen-year-old girl, to a socially awkward one who has a difficult time with even the most basic conversations. Part of this is explained by the secret she’s been keeping from everyone for years. I’d be sympathizing with her one moment, and left scratching my head at her puzzling actions the next. Every time I thought I had a handle on who she was, something would happen and I’d be right back at the beginning. It was infuriating yet mesmerizing at the same time. 

The rest of the characters didn’t stand out all that much, although I thought Seda’s younger siblings (two sets of twins), were adorable. The mother was a little out there and I wound up disliking her intensely. I thought her actions were selfish, neglectful and uncaring. She supposedly loved Seda and her siblings but aside from inventing entertaining games to keep them distracted, she seemed otherwise disengaged. The stranded teens pretty much fit the standard roles: romantic lead, mean girl, loner, etc. and didn’t add all that much until the end of the book.

The descriptive setting was the best part of the story. You can feel the eeriness and claustrophobic atmosphere creep off the pages and surround you. Each chapter begins with a heading that ties the crumbling ruin back to its heyday of being a popular hotel, which was an imaginative touch. The pace though, was extremely slow for about 70% of the book, and at times, I was ready to tear out my hair waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen! And then it finally did, and yikes! What a rollercoaster ride! There’s a huge twist at the end that I still can’t make up my mind as to whether I loved or hated it. Either way, I’m still thinking about it two days after I finished the book, which makes it a success in my mind. 

While Alone didn’t quite live up to my admittedly high expectations, I still enjoyed it and I think it’s a good read for teens, especially this time of year. It’s creepy and unsettling and I guarantee the ending will give you goosebumps!

 

We All Fall Down, by Natalie D. Richards ~ 3.0 Stars

Tags

Codependency, Friendship, Mental Illness, Romance, Supernatural tv series, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebook Fire for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: Available lNow

268 Pages

Synopsis: Theo’s always been impulsive. But telling Paige how he feels? He’s obsessed over that decision. And it’s time. Tonight. At the party on the riverbank, under the old walking bridge, site of so many tales of love and death.

Paige has had a crush on Theo since they first met, but she knows her feelings are one-sided. She’s trying to move on, to flirt. A party at the river is just what she needs. Except a fight breaks out, and when Paige tries to intervene—Theo’s fist lands in her face.

All Theo and Paige want to do is forget that fateful night. But strange events keep drawing them back to the bridge. Someone, something is determined to make them remember…and pay for what they did.

I have to admit We All Fall Down has left me frustrated and torn over my rating and review. The premise is original, and the two protagonists are sympathetic and likable, but there just seemed to be something missing.

Both characters have mental health issues. Theo has severe ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), and Paige suffers from debilitating anxiety and panic attacks, and sleepwalking. They were so real and believable that my heart ached for both of them. I did think that more attention was spent on Theo and his struggles with the medications that are out there to treat his disorders. There’s also the relationship between him and his Uncle Denny who also has ADHD, which brings in the genetic component, and shows how an adult lives with this illness.

When Paige is suffering from anxiety or a panic attack, it’s meticulously described, from her feelings to what the triggers are. There’s a mention of how her overprotective mother also suffers from anxiety, but there’s nothing more and I wish the author had spent a little more time exploring their relationship like she did with Theo’s and his uncle’s. 

The friendship and romance between Theo and Paige is sweet and you can understand why these two are drawn to each other, yet at the same time I found myself agreeing with Paige’s parents that their relationship is based on codependency and is toxic. 

The plot is what ultimately took away from this book. Natalie Richards chose to add supernatural elements, and a bland mystery. I’m not sure if the author included these simply to try to attract more readers, but at best it was bland and uninteresting, and at worst it was distracting and confusing. And, the ending left me scratching my head. There were some questions answered, but quite a few issues were left unresolved. Hence, my frustration.

For the last day I’ve dithered over giving We All Fall Down, 2 or 3 stars. I’ve decided to go with the higher rating because of the likability of Theo and Paige and the attention Natalie Richards gives to mental illness. This is one of the better YA books I’ve read in regards to this topic. Despite my issues with the actual story, I would recommend this, particularly to teens who struggle with these illnesses. 

 

 

The Suffering Tree, by Elle Cosimano ~ 2.0 Stars

Tags

Historical Fiction, Mental Illness, Mystery, Self-harm, Supernatural, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Disney-Hyperion for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: June 13th, 2017

368 Pages

Synopsis: Tori Burns and her family left D.C. for claustrophobic Chaptico, Maryland, after suddenly inheriting a house under mysterious circumstances. That inheritance puts her at odds with the entire town, especially Jesse Slaughter and his family–it’s their generations-old land that the Burns have “stolen”. But none of that seems to matter after Tori witnesses a young man claw his way out of a grand v e under the gnarled oak in her new backyard.

Nathaniel Bishop may not understand what brought him back, but it’s clear to Tori t h at he hates the Slaughters for what they did to him centuries ago. Wary yet drawn to him by a shared sense of loss, she gives him shelter. But in the wake of his arrival comes a string of troubling events–including the disappearance of Jesse Slaughter’s cousin–that seem to point to back to Nathaniel.

As Tori digs for the truth–and slowly begins to fall for Nathaniel–she uncovers something much darker in the tangled branches of the Slaughter family tree. In order to break the centuries-old curse that binds Nathaniel there and discover the true nature of her inheritance, Tori must unravel the Slaughter family’s oldest and most guarded secrets. But the Slaughters want to keep them buried…at any cost.

The Suffering Tree is a tough book to review. There are some good things about it, but it also has many weaknesses. First, it should definitely come with a trigger warning concerning self-harm. Tori is a cutter, and this is brought up repeatedly, yet there’s nothing in the book’s summary about this. Making matters worse is the way in which Cosimano uses Tori’s illness as the way Nathaniel is brought back to life. So, right from the beginning I was frankly appalled. In addition, no one in Tori’s life ever makes a serious effort to stop her harmful behavior. There’s no resolution and it seems to me that the only reason why it’s included in the story is to bring in Nathaniel. The book is told from three perspectives: the present, the past through Tori’s visions, and the past from Nathaniel’s POV and it was jarring to move back and forth between them. While I found Nathaniel and his historical ties to the Slaughters to be the most interesting part of the story, the rest of the characters including Tori, come across as being generally under-developed which makes it difficult to become emotionally invested in them. The mystery is interesting, and the writing itself is beautiful and at times almost poetic but these aren’t enough to save the story. To be honest, even without the issue of cutting being magically glorified, The Suffering Tree would have been just an okay read for me, but the cavalier way Cosimano treats the issue of depression, anxiety and self-harm has left me concerned for the teens that will be reading this. 

One Of Us Is Lying, by Karen McManus ~ 4.5 Stars

Tags

Bullying, Drugs, Dysfunctional Relationships, Mental Illness, Mystery, Social Media, Suspense, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Delacorte Press for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: May 30th, 2017

368 Pages

Synopsis: Pay close attention and you might solve this. 

On Monday afternoon, five students at Bayview High walk into detention.

Bronwyn, “the brain”, is Yale-bound and never breaks a rule.

Addy, “the beauty”, is the picture-perfect homecoming princess.

Nate, “the criminal”, is already on probation for dealing.

Cooper, “the athlete”, is the all-star baseball pitcher.

And Simon, “the outcast”, is the creator of Bayview High’s notorious gossip app.

Only, Simon never makes it out of that classroom. Before the end of detention Simon’s dead. And according to investigators, his death wasn’t an accident. On Monday, he died. But on Tuesday, he planned to post juicy reveals about all four of his high-profile classmates, which makes all four of them suspects in his murder. Or, are they the perfect patsies for a killer who’s still on the loose?

Everyone has secrets right? What really matters is how far you would go to protect them.

I requested One of Us Is Lying because the mystery was appealing and it sort of reminded me of The Breakfast Club and Pretty Little Liars. To my surprise though this wildly exceeded my expectations. The story is related from the POVs of the four main characters. While at first Bronwyn, Nate, Addy and Cooper seem to fit the ubiquitous high school stereotypes, they are so, so much more. They all have secrets and issues they’re trying to deal with and they come across relatable and sympathetic. I liked every single one of them, even while it was constantly in the back of my head that one of them may be a murderer. Karen McManus does a fantastic job at capturing what modern-day high school life is like, especially with the use of social media. With this realistic setting and likable characters, I completely got distracted in regards to the actual mystery, so it wasn’t until the last couple of chapters that all the puzzle pieces began coming together for me and I guessed who the person was behind Simon’s death. The ending is perfect, but not in the way where everyone rides off happily into the sunset. While there are some positive moments, there are others where certain people have to face the consequences of their actions and there were some plot lines that were purposely left open. I was fine with all of it, because like the rest of the story, it made everything messily real. There’s just one aspect that prevents me from giving this a perfect rating, and I’m sorry that I have to be vague. I can’t really go into it too much because that would involve unveiling a major spoiler. All I can say is that it involved mental illness and I thought it was glossed over a bit. Otherwise, this book is bound to be a phenomenal hit with teens and adults who enjoy YA fiction. It would also make a terrific movie or even tv series. I honestly can’t wait to see what Karen McManus comes out with next!

 

 

Ill Will ~ By Dan Chaon – 2.0 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Drug addiction, Dysfunctional Families, Mental Illness, Mystery, Satanic Ritual Abuse, Serial Killers, Suspense

Thanks to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: March 7th, 2017

480 Pages

Synopsis: “We are always telling a story to ourselves, about ourselves,” Dustin Tillman likes to say. It’s one of the little mantras he shares with his patients, and it’s meant to be reassuring. But what if it’s a lie?

A psychologist in suburban Cleveland, Dustin is drifting through his forties when he hears the news: His adopted brother, Rusty, is being released from prison. Thirty years ago, Rusty received a life sentence for the massacre of Dustin’s parents, aunt, and uncle. The trial came to symbolize the 1980s hysteria over Satanic cults; despite the lack of physical evidence, the jury believed the outlandish accusations Dustin and his cousin made against Rusty. Now, after DNA analysis has overturned the conviction, Dustin braces for a reckoning.

Meanwhile, one of Dustin’s patients gets him deeply engaged in a string of drowning deaths involving drunk college boys. At first Dustin dismisses talk of a serial killer as paranoid thinking, but as he gets wrapped up in their amateur investigation, Dustin starts to believe that there’s more to the deaths than coincidence. Soon he becomes obsessed, crossing all professional boundaries–and putting his own family in harm’s way.

Ill Will is the first book I’ve read by bestselling author and National Book Award winner Dan Chaon, and I was so excited when I was approved for this on NetGalley, but after finishing it last night, I’m left with a feeling of overwhelming frustration. While there were some parts that were complete and total genius, there are just too many issues I had with this and the bad wound up outweighing the good. I’m trying to think where to even begin. The story’s timeline alternates between the early 1980s and 2012-2014. The past focuses on Dustin Tillman, his adopted brother Rusty, and his two cousins Katy and Wave. The central mystery is who massacred Dustin’s parents and aunt and uncle. It’s set against the 80s hysteria around satanic cults and repressed memories. This mystery was definitely my favorite part of the book. The author definitely did his research into the horrible witch hunts that destroyed so many lives. Dustin and Rusty’s relationship is complicated, and even though Rusty turns out to be innocent of the murders, as an adult, he himself admits to doing some pretty horrible things to Dustin. Because of this I didn’t feel as much sympathy for him as I ordinarily would have for an innocent person being railroaded by the legal system. Dustin as a child is an extremely complex character and enigmatic one. I felt so sorry for him, but as the story of his childhood unfolds it becomes apparent that there’s something not quite right about him. Whether this is related to his and Rusty’s relationship, or the murders, or something more sinister, is the big question. As an adult, he seems to have put everything behind him. He’s a successful psychologist, with a wonderful wife and two teenage sons. But when one of his patients who’s an ex-cop brings to his attention a series of mysterious drownings of young men, he immediately partners up with him in this crazy investigation that completely crosses the boundaries of professional patient/doctor relationships. Honestly, the whole thing made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. Adding to my confusion was Chaon’s writing style. There are sentences left uncompleted, chapters that are nothing but columns which was so bizarre, I wound up skimming the majority of them, and the choppy transition between the past and the present, as well as the different viewpoints of multiple characters. I was hoping at least the ending would answer my questions, but it didn’t. The identity of the serial killer was revealed, although I had already guessed who it was, but there were numerous plot holes that were never filled, and I was left unsure as to who really murdered Dustin’s family. Overall, this was just a convoluted mess from start to finish, and I confess I’m really annoyed because it could have been a fantastic mystery/suspense novel. However, it’s gotten some rave reviews on Goodreads, as well as from critics at the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune and Entertainment Weekly,  which has left me second guessing myself and wondering what did I miss. 

Until I Break ~ By Kara Bietz – 4.0 Stars

Tags

Bullying, Dysfunctional Families, Friendship, Gun Violence, Mental Illness, YA Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Albert Whitman & Company for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

256 Pages

Synopsis: Two boys: One is a star athlete and top student with a deep-seated need to prove himself. The other is a chip-on-his-shoulder quarterback who will never settle for second best. When gunshots echo through the halls of Broadmeadow High School, whose finger is on the trigger? A year before the shooting, Sam North has a bright future as well as a problem that no one seems to see, Ace Quinn, his neighbor and teammate. For years, Ace has been bullying and harassing Sam, yet he’s managed to deftly conceal his actions and threats from the rest of the world. As Ace’s secret rage intensifies, Sam becomes more desperate to stop him. But how far will he go? And what if Ace takes his threats even further?

Until I Break is a timely and unsettling book about a completely normal and nice kid, Sam, whose psyche, after years of what amounts to psychological torture at the hands of Ace, finally starts to disintegrate during their senior year, from the unimaginable stress. The story is told in alternating timelines from the present to back to the beginning of the school year. Although it’s not difficult to ascertain what’s going to happen, going back and looking at the events that lead up to the violent outcome, was a brilliant plot device by the author because it’s both incredibly intense but also insightful. I could literally feel Sam’s building anxiety and agony and seeing him unravel after years of psychological abuse at the hands of Ace was just heartbreaking. Sam’s not a loner. He has family. He has friends. He’s an athlete and is well liked, but no one seems to understand what Ace is doing to him, not even his best friend who thinks he just over reacts to Ace. Sam is already vulnerable because of the death of his father and his mother’s struggle with depression. Stepping in as a father figure, is his grandfather who loves him but bonds over football and taking Sam to the shooting range. He has the whole “Men stand on their own two feet!” mentality and doesn’t see what’s happening right under his nose. I have to say I grew quite frustrated at times during the book because no one noticed that Sam was deteriorating both mentally and physically. I think that perhaps the author put so much time and effort into making Sam a sympathetic and relatable character, that she skimped a little on others, especially the adults in his life. The story also features a somewhat twisted love triangle between Sam, Marnie and Ace. I’m just going to say flat out I absolutely DESPISED Marnie. She’s a shallow little flirt who delights in playing Sam and Ace against each other. Honestly, there’s not a single nice thing I can say about her except that she was supportive of Sam when his dad died. Beyond that, she’s an absolute horror show and I honestly couldn’t understand why Sam loves her so much. Ace is pretty much your stereotypical bully: an overachiever who never lives up to the expectations of his demanding father. I ordinarily would have a certain amount of sympathy for someone like Ace, but what he does to Sam is so heartless and cruel, well, I couldn’t summon up one iota of pity for him. I’m not a trained psychologist but if I had to guess, I’d say that at the very least, Ace has sociopathic tendencies. The way that he charms everyone while at the same time secretly torments Sam is truly frightening. The ending gives both Sam and the reader a sense of hope. With the help of a therapist/advocate, he’s given a second chance at turning his life around, which is as it should be. Although Until I Break has quite a few flaws, there are two reasons why I’m giving it a high rating. The first being Sam, who it’s obvious that the author poured her heart and soul into creating. Because of his situation and his wanting to please the people in his life, I think teens will completely relate to and become emotionally invested in him. I know other reviewers have criticized that his not reaching out more to adults isn’t believable, but I respectfully disagree. Growing up with an abusive mother, as well as being bullied in school at one point, I know all too well that feeling of being alone and trapped and not knowing who to trust—who to reach out to. And I think sadly, too many kids will get this also. The second reason I’m giving this 4 stars is because of the important messages this book imparts. Bullying doesn’t have to take on physical form to do the most damage. Those inner wounds left by verbal and psychological abuse can be even more damaging and lasting. Worse yet, someone can be surrounded by friends and family but still feel lost, afraid and alone. One very important part of friendship is listening to and looking out for one another, and I think even as adults we sometimes lose sight of this. I would definitely recommend this book for classroom reading and teen book discussion groups. It’s not an easy read, but I think it’s one that has merits in being shared.