The Dead Inside ~ By Cyndy Drew Etler

Tags

Child Abuse, Memoirs, Sexual Abuse, Straight Inc., Substance Abuse, Tough Love Programs, YA Non-Fiction

Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: Available Now

288 Pages

Synopsis: For readers of Girl Interrupted and Tweak, Cyndy Etler’s gripping memoir gives readers a glimpse into the harrowing reality of her sixteen months in the notorious “tough love” program the ACLU called “a concentration camp for throwaway kids.”

I never was a badass. Or a slut, a junkie, a stoner, like they told me I was. I was just a kid looking for something good, something that felt like love. I was a wannabe in a Levi’s jean jacket. Anybody could see that. Except my mother. And the professionals at Straight.

From the outside, Straight Inc. was a drug rehab. But on the inside it was…well, it was something else.

All Cyndy wanted was to be loved and accepted/ By age fourteen, she had escaped from her violent home, only to be reported as a runaway and sent to a “drug rehabilitation” facility that changed her world.

To the public, Straight Inc. was a place of recovery. But behind closed doors, the program used bizarre and intimidating methods to “treat” its patients. In her raw and fearless memoir, Cyndy Etler recounts her sixteen months in the living nightmare that Straight Inc. considered “healing.”

I’ve decided not to rate this book because honestly, how do you give a rating to such a dark and personal memoir? It’s also not a story that I’d apply the word enjoyable to, but it’s compelling and inspirational, and I think it’s an important one that people should read. Even before Straight Inc. got their hands on her, Cynde Etler’s childhood was not a happy one. Molested by her stepfather, neglected and ignored by her mother, by the time she’s fourteen, Cyndy is experimenting with alcohol and pot, making questionable relationship choices, and constantly running away and sleeping over at friends’ houses. After being placed in a nice foster care home for a brief time, she’s told by her family that she’s being sent to this wonderful boarding school, but instead is delivered into the hands of one of the most bizarre and abusive “tough love” programs that I’ve ever heard of. Cyndy relates what happened in the voice of the young teen she was, which gives the story even more of a raw, emotional narrative. The fact that she was trapped in this nightmare of abuse and brainwashing for over a year, is heartbreaking. I found myself having to take breaks from reading this because there were so many difficult moments. Yet at the same time I just had to keep reading because I wanted to–no needed to, know she persevered. My only criticism is that at the end of the book Cyndy winds up returning to her old high school, but it cuts off rather abruptly and I was left wanting more. However, the sequel, We Can’t Be Friends, is coming out in October so perhaps this is why. In the end while The Dead Inside is a tough read, it’s one I highly recommend for older teens and adults. While Straight Inc. was finally forced to shut its doors in 1993 after being supported by both the Reagan and Bush administrations, and was even visited by Princess Diana, there are still some programs in the troubled teen industry that use similar abusive practices. The only way to to affect permanent and positive change is through education and listening to courageous survivors like Cyndy Etler.

The Roanoke Girls ~ By Amy Engel – 3.5 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Family Relationships, Incest, Mystery, Sexual Abuse

Thanks to NetGalley and Crown for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Release Date: March 7th, 2017

276 Pages

Synopsis: After her mother’s suicide, fifteen-year-old Lane Roanoke came to live with her grandparents and fireball cousin, Allegra, on their vast estate in rural Kansas. Lane knew little of her mother’s mysterious family, but she quickly embraced life as one of the rich and beautiful Roanoke girls. But when she discovered the dark truth at the heart of the family, she ran fast and far away. 

Eleven years later, Lane is adrift in Los Angeles when her grandfather calls to tell her that Allegra has gone missing. Did she run too? Or something worse? Unable to resist his pleas, Lane returns to help search, and to ease her guilt at having left Allegra behind. Her homecoming may mean a second chance with the boyfriend whose heart she broke that long ago summer. But it also means facing the devastating secret that made her flee, one she may not be strong enough to run from again.

As it weaves between Lane’s first Roanoke summer and her return, The Roanoke Girls shocks and tantalizes, twisting its way through revelation after mesmerizing revelation, exploring the secrets families keep and the fierce and terrible love that both binds them together and rips them apart.

Roanoke Girls is a dark and disturbing read which has left me feeling very conflicted. I usually try not to include spoilers in my reviews, but I’m going to reveal one here because if you decide to pick this up, I think you should be forewarned. The Roanoke family has been hiding a shameful secret for decades: the sexual abuse of several female members and this  is the background that the main mystery is set against. It’s obvious who the perpetrator is early on in the book but the author writes about it in a subtle way, focusing more on why no one ever asked for outside help, and how this all relates to Allegra’s disappearance. For the most part I disliked all of the characters, yet at the same time I couldn’t seem to tear myself away from the story. It enraged me that several characters, including Lane, had the chance to sound the alarm about what was happening, yet chose not to. I appreciated Lane’s determination to find Allegra, but questioned why her caring about her cousin only came eleven years after she fled the family homestead. Lane also comes across as being completely self-involved and uncaring about anyone except for herself. She frequently and deliberately lashes out at people who actually do care for her, which also makes it difficult to sympathize with her. The history of the abuse is revealed layer, by layer, and this in a horrible sort of way, is the best part of the book. The chapters alternate between the present day, with Lane’s desperate investigation of her cousin’s disappearance, and what happened eleven years ago during the one summer Lane spent with Allegra and her grandparents. Further fleshing out the story are occasional brief passages from other Roanoke girls, which makes everything even more personal and heartbreaking. Despite my issues with the characters, I was mesmerized from the very first page. Amy Engel is an incredible storyteller who knows exactly how to create a story that will resonate with readers. The Roanoke Girls is a disquieting look at what on the surface looks like a wealthy, successful all American family, yet underneath that veneer is a seething mass of abuse and deception. I don’t think this book will be for everyone, but if you do decide to try it, its not one that you’ll soon forget.

Shivaree ~ By J.D. Horn – 4.5 Stars

Tags

Adult Fiction, Incest, Korean War, Mississippi, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Southern Gothic, Vampires

I received this e-book from NetGalley and 47North in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis: As the Korean War ends, practical and well-mannered nurse Corinne Ford returns stateside to live in the Mississippi town of Conroy with her new fiance, Private First Class, Elijah Dunne. She wonders if their love is strong enough to overshadow their differences, but upon her arrival to Elijah’s backwoods stomping grounds, she understands that culture shock is the least of her worries.

After four good ol’ boys are attacked in the night whole seeking to terrorize a local black family, decades of buried secrets begin to rise. From Conroy’s most powerful citizen–known as the “Judge”–to the man Corinne intends to marry, no one is innocent. Yet the deepest secret of all involves the beautiful, cruel, and dead Miss Ruby. The former belle of Conroy and Elijah’ s lost love, is neither forgotten nor truly gone. But her death is only the beginning of a slow vengeance that won’t stop until it’s hunger is satisfied.

Southern Gothic:  “A style of writing practiced by many writers of the American South whose stories set in that region are characterized by grotesque, macabre, or fantastic incidents.”

~ Encyclopedia Britannica ~

I really enjoyed J.D. Horn’s Witching Savannah series so I was intrigued when Shivaree popped up on NetGalley. While this novel is much darker than his previous stories it’s Southern Gothic at its very best.

“Kudzu vine, rapacious and never sleeping, had nearly swallowed the old Cooper house whole.”

One thing I love about about J.D. Horn is the exquisite detail he puts into the description of his settings without taking anything away from the plot. You can feel the sultry air caressing your skin and smell the heady mix of smoke, and creosote emitted by the town’s paper mill, and hear that slow southern drawl when people speak. From the very first chapter you’re captivated by what seems to be your typical sleepy little southern town but it’s quickly revealed that underneath that deceptive exterior, Conroy is seething with racism, corruption, and other dark secrets that its townspeople would rather not see the light of day.

Poor Corinne unsuspectingly walks into this nest of vipers, expecting to settle down and start a family with the charming young man she met in Korea. Even without the supernatural evil doings going on, Corinne would never fit in with the residents of Conroy. She’s level-headed, outspoken and independent, and because of these attributes she’s met with suspicion and derision, particularly by Elijah’s mother. While Corinne attempts to get along with her future in-laws, she’s no pushover. She wants to love and support Elijah, and if it means butting heads with his family or even the sheriff, so be it.

Elijah comes across as an earnest, sweet country boy at first, but he’s hiding some pretty dark secrets from Corinne which makes him slightly less sympathetic. This doesn’t make him an unlikable character though. Just one that is a product of the time period and his environment. 

The main villain of the story is Ruby, who even before she’s turned into a vampire, is one nasty piece of work. Yet I found myself reluctantly feeling sorry for her at times. The daughter of the truly abhorrent Judge, she never really had a chance given her upbringing. 

As far as the rest of the characters, they’re all pretty despicable, and deserve what’s coming to them. The only exception is Lucille, the Judge’s maid, aka slave. Forced to send her two children away to protect them from not only the supernatural evil which has invaded the town, but also the local Klan, she’s forced to stay and wait hand and foot on the Judge, fearful of him sending his minions after her if she attempted to flee. She and Corinne make a dynamic duo in the end.

While the Korean War is the background for Corinne’s and Elijah’s romance, it does seem a little superfluous. It’s kind of thrown in there, but there’s no real apparent reason beyond setting the time period of the early 1950s and perhaps an explanation for Corinne’s feminism. I found myself wishing the author had used this to explore a little more the traumatic effects of war. Since the novel is under 300 pages maybe he just didn’t have the time to fit it in. Or, maybe I’m just being overly fussy. Sometime a story is just a story.

Shiveree touches on many issues including racism, physical and sexual abuse, incest, and bullying, yet it never gets bogged down by these weighty themes. The ending while satisfying, definitely leaves the door open for a possible sequel. If you like deeply conflicted characters and plots that slowly unveil their secrets like peeling back the layers of an onion, than I highly recommend this book.